Amazing Man poses proudly in his fluorescent yellow ensemble, an orange mask providing much needed protection from revengeful thugs, identity thieves, and an adoring public. None of which take the stage this dark night, where a dim moon, spotted street lights, an occasional moving headlight and the pearly glow of a crime-ridden city provide the only source of luminescence. Swaying, slowly, his bursting biceps and sagging triceps give little indication of the massive strength at the core of his body, a body not of this Earth.
Arriving alone from the planet Allesus, his people at war, a poignant parable and basis for many story arcs, Amazing Man had the misfortune of a stolid upbringing with little adventure and less fun. His foster parents did provide the essentials: high expectations, conditional love, and a little prayer. After the first few indications of super-strength, the obligatory devil recriminations forced a naïve teenage Allesian to fight his own innocence in a depraved society filled with hate and crime.
Now, alone, beneath decrepit city buildings, with peeling paint and shattered windows, forming the backdrop to a potential battle yet to unfold, Amazing Man edges forward.
Flash! Bang!
In steps The Electron Wonder, his muted blue vest almost hidden by the bright embossed lightning bolt covering a hairy chest of steel. The eyes tell a story: the child of a broken marriage, his propensity for criminal malfeasance bringing with it only hollow reprise from the torture and abuse bestowed upon his psyche by the woman charged by nature with his upbringing. If juvenile detention couldn't hold his passion, the streets would do their best to provide a moral compass, a refuge, a last chance at redemption. With Lily by his side, a run-away and fellow junkie, they took pleasure in others' misery. Until he became the target. Rejected, her departure couldn't dent the surface let alone break his heart, for that had happened long ago.
Or did she return from a parallel universe, espousing a defense of doppelgangers and multiple Earths, of evil nemeses hell-bent on destroying the multi-verse?
Whichever origin story you believe, he now stands before the only chance of salvation and of giving meaning to his faltered life. To grow up hard makes you harder. The result is a young man possessed not only of confidence, but of an unparalleled propensity for cocky, brash, arrogant, smug, hubristic, sure-footed, overweening, bumptious, self-assuredness.
An aggressive stance follows, his silver painted face awash with the memories of a sure victory. The only thing standing in his way - rocking, swaying in his way - is a bright do-gooder, an annoying mosquito, buzzing over his shoulder, just asking to be squashed.
The Electron Wonder edges closer.
AM vs TEW, round 1. Fight!
'I have been around since the nineteen thirties, in one form or another,' says Amazing man, sneaking in the first glancing blow, a mild warm-up, acting more as a warning shot that a full-blooded attack.
-1 HP TEW
'Pfft,' scoffs The Electron Wonder. 'I'm more edgy, more now. You're an old man. It's my brooding darkness and emotional pain that my fans connect with. What do you have? Yellow underwear?'
Ooh, a damaging opening salvo, piercing through the thin yet comfortable shielding of his opponent's cotton-blend attire, with a liberal sprinkling of ad hominem.
PoW! -2 HP AM
'You may scoff at my longevity, young man,' says the Amazing Allesian, 'but during that time I have spawned over one thousand comic books, in five separate volumes, amongst a plethora of special appearances. All before you were created.'
Oomph! -2 HP TEW
That one almost took The Electron Wonder's feet out from under him. A moment to regain his composure, and then he is off, charging hard and strong with a lightning counter-attack:
'My latest issue is the world-wide highest selling paperback in history!'
KaDunk! -2 HP AM
Ouch, that's gotta hurt. Amazing man gingerly rises from his rickety knees, letting out a small grunt as his old muscles stretch. He tries a new tactic:
'I've starred in seven films, including one reboot, and have been referenced in at least one hundred other titles. Two television shows, three radio serials, countless theatre productions – I am what people think of when they hear the word superhero!'
Shock! -5 HP TEW
The great man's echo reverberates around the chipped walls and empty alleys, coinciding with a distant siren, adding two additional hit points of damage to the boy.
Clutching his arm tight, The Electron Wonder is hurt. His ego more bruised than his skin, he shakes his head quickly, vocalising a bubbling noise which snaps him out of the pain of his memories and forces his blood to flow, making his face appear purple.
'Your TV shows have been yanked, old man. Mine is going strong, now in its fifth season. My soon-to-be-released feature film has the largest budget in the history of cinema, with prime-time superbowl ads and more merchandise than Star Wars.'
WoWowy! -3 HP AM
A stunning blow right into the steely stomach of Amazing Man, lifting him off the ground, up above the street lights, into darkness, his own darkness, coming to land on soiled newspapers and rotten fruit scraps. Visibly battered and winded, his face is the picture of shock, the kind of confused expression on someone who's never felt that kind of force, even from evil alien nemeses or near-apocalyptic cataclysm.
Floating to his feet, Amazing Man moves with an adroitness unexpected in such an old thirty two year old. In a flash he is upon The Electron Wonder, wielding statistics faster than any human politician, relaying dollars earned per quarter in all media, influence of fictional technology on real scientific breakthroughs, convention numbers, fan activity online, and anything else that can even tangentially be quantified. Each fact, each figure, jabbing The Electron Wonder, forcing him back, and back, and back.
-1 HP TEW
-1 HP TEW
-1 HP TEW
-1 HP TEW
-1 HP TEW
The boy falls, hard against the cement wall of an abandoned factory, bringing him face to face with his own abandonment issues, his own recollections of a life without a father, without a role model.
'I am the face of virtue,' continues the Allesian, standing over his opponent, letting his loud words fall fast onto the sunken figure. 'I am the face of honour, of courage, of honesty. I am what all little children look up to, what all parents encourage. I am the surrogate father of the world.' A large gesture with arms outstretched, a booming voice almost too much for the prostrate teen.
A tear, glittering silver in the moonlight, slinks down the cheek of The Electron Wonder. His eyes flicker and he looks away, down, ashamed.
Amazing Man does not hesitate and, on the precipice of delivering a final volley, leans in closer with a stern countenance, facing his adversary square in the eye.
'Wait,' says The Electron Wonder hoarsely, his breathing now heavy, his mind awash with the past.
Amazing Man, swearing an oath to uphold the highest of principles, allows the young man a chance to collect his thoughts and expel a final utterance.
'I...' begins The Electron Wonder, stuttering, forming a strange visage. 'I..I am your son.'
Kazowie! -50HP AM
And with those four words, spoken in innocence, calling into question every portion of the great man's morality, his very character dealt the deadliest of blows, Amazing Man is flung high into the air, out of the Earth's atmosphere, beyond our nearest planets, on a trajectory to Allesia, past the only barrier a fictional character can never overcome: obscurity.
The Electron Wonder. Wins!
© 2012 Ben Safta
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Australia License
