Sale

'Man, you shoulda just seen what this bloke done. What? Oh, yeah, three more pints of West End, thanks love. Yeah, so he's gone up to this clothes place that was havin' a sale, all sorts a signs out front, talkin' about this much off or what have you. So he's gone in and-'

'Most of the signs said the sale was up to sixty percent off.'

'Right, right, let me tell the story. So as I was sayin', this bloke, he's gone into this clothes shop and looked around at some a the clothes, lookin' close, like at the prices and shit.'

'The most they had off was ten percent. These places always do that. It's like the rug places that are always closing down. It irritates me.'

'So anyway, right, this bloke, right, he picks up one a the jeans and goes right up to the place where you pay. The girl says it'll be fifty nine dollars whatever. And then, wait for it, this is the good bit: this bloke right here, right, he hands over twenty bucks. The girl didn't- Ooh, thanks pet. Nice head hey boys? What? Oh, nah, my mate here'll pay for 'em, right champ? So where was I? Oh yeah, this girl behind the register, she don't look like she gives a shit about anything and says something about him still needing another thirty or whatever, and he's like “Nah, twenny'll be fine.” Now she actually looks the bludger in the face and says that the jeans cost fitty nine whatever. She's all serious and that. Then this bloke says “I think I'll just pay twenny.” This bitch don't know what to say; don't know whether to get angry or just laugh. So she gets her boss. Her boss is another chick – not bad for in her forties - don't look like she takes no shit, neither. This bloke says the same thing to her and she don't know what to say. He then says he can maybe go twenny five, but that's it.'

'She thought I was just bartering and told me that the price was the price. I told her I wasn't bartering, and that I was certainly willing to go up to fifty nine dollars.'

'Ha! Ya hear that? So the hottie boss is just about to chuck him out when some others in the store all kick up a stink. They tell'er that the bloke's right, that it's only fair dinkum' to sell 'im the jeans at twenny bucks. Funniest thing I seen in ages. Thing was, these guys – they told me this after, when we was talkin' - they was also pissed at all the up to stuff. It's like they was just waitin' for someone to take the lead and then they'd folla. So anyway, with 'em saying to the boss lady what should be done, she does the only thing she can do and that's sell the damn thing at twenny bucks. Funniest thing I ever seen!'

© 2012 Ben Safta

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 Australia License